The Dos and Don’ts of Parenting (That Apply Directly to Leadership)

My father told me something years ago that I’ve never forgotten: you can learn a great deal about parenting from your own parents — both what to do and what not to do.

He was right. And the lesson extends far beyond parenting. Every principle I’ve learned about raising seven kids translates directly to how I lead in business, on stages, and in my community. The overlap isn’t coincidental — parenting and leadership are both, at their core, about investing in people.

What Parenting Teaches About Leadership

Be present at the table.

My dad and stepmom instilled in me a deep appreciation for family mealtime. We gather around the table as often as possible — sometimes as early as 4:30 to accommodate everyone’s schedule. My wife plans ahead to make it happen. The conversations that unfold during those meals are irreplaceable. In business, the equivalent is being fully present in one-on-ones, team meetings, and the informal moments that build connection. When you’re at the table — physically and emotionally — people open up.

Learn from both the dos and the don’ts.

My parents weren’t perfect. No parents are. But every misstep taught me something valuable about what not to repeat. The same is true in leadership. You learn as much from the terrible boss who micromanaged you as from the mentor who invested in you. Both experiences shape the leader you choose to be.

Model what you want to see.

My kids don’t do what I tell them. They do what they watch me do. If I’m on my phone at dinner, they learn that screens are more important than people. If I raise my voice when I’m frustrated, they learn that anger is the way to handle conflict. Leadership works the same way — your team mirrors your behavior, not your words.

Invest in what matters to them.

John O’Leary gave me a concept I think about constantly: let their thing be your thing. My thirteen-year-old loves horseback riding. I could show up distracted, checking my phone from the sideline. Or I could engage — ask questions, show interest, be fully present for something that matters to her. In leadership, this means caring about your people’s passions, their families, their lives outside of work. When what matters to them matters to you, the relationship deepens in ways nothing else can replicate.

Forgive quickly.

In a house with seven kids, conflict is constant. We’ve built a practice of asking for forgiveness — not just saying “I’m sorry,” but specifically asking “will you forgive me?” The distinction matters. And sometimes it means I’m asking my kids for forgiveness because I’m the one who fell short. In leadership, the willingness to admit mistakes and seek genuine reconciliation builds trust faster than any competency model.

Tell them they are enough.

Every day. Through words and actions. My kids need to hear that their worth isn’t conditional on grades, performance, or behavior. Your team needs to hear the same thing — that they matter not for what they produce, but for who they are.

Where I Got It Wrong

I look back on my sixteen years with my oldest daughter, Abby, and I see things I wish I’d done differently. I worked too much. I spent too much time on my phone. I prioritized emails over board games. I don’t know how much those choices contributed to the fracture in our relationship, but I know they didn’t help.

The same regrets apply to leadership. Every hour I spent distracted by my device was an hour I wasn’t fully present for someone who needed my attention. Every meeting I rushed through was a missed opportunity to connect. Every hard conversation I avoided was a crack in the foundation of trust.

I can’t go back and change those moments. But I can make different choices today — as a father and as a leader.

The Parallel Is Real

The skills that make you a great parent — presence, patience, consistency, vulnerability, unconditional care — are the same skills that make you a great leader. And the mistakes that damage family relationships — absence, distraction, control, conditional love — damage professional relationships just as deeply.

If you want to become a better leader, start by becoming a better parent. And if you want to become a better parent, start by applying the leadership principles you already know but haven’t brought home yet.

The people in your home and the people on your team want the same thing: to feel seen, valued, and enough. Give them that, and everything else follows.

Frequently Asked Questions

How does parenting experience translate to leadership?

Both parenting and leadership require presence, patience, emotional intelligence, the ability to have hard conversations, and the commitment to invest in someone’s growth without expecting it returned. The core skill set is remarkably similar — the context just changes.

What’s the biggest parenting mistake that leaders also make at work?

Distraction. Being physically present but emotionally absent — checking your phone during conversations, multitasking during important moments, prioritizing the urgent over the important. Kids and team members experience this the same way: as a message that they’re not worth your full attention.